Core values = common ground
Good morning Engaged Durhamites for Democracy!
Still soaring to have attended the bridge protest with 29 other activism warriors!! Yes!! We are making a difference!
A big shout out to Mark who not only was on the bridge yesterday but also testified at the NC General Assembly to speak out against a bill for “parents’ rights” that will put many teens’ lives in danger (e.g., no privacy about STDs, reducing discussion of prevention of STDs, etc.). We need to protect our youth. Thank you Mark for your advocacy!
And from the time I posted our numbers for May Day Strong yesterday morning until I checked after the bridge protest, it went up by 20. I think talking to people directly with your phone out and the QR code helps people sign up and commit to go. Please be bold and ask everyone you know to scan the QR code. Yahoo!!
Amazon tried to be strong by listing the prices then prices given tariffs to show consumers the effect of the tariffs. Even though we are boycotting Amazon, I was happy to see this. That was until, the bully saw it.
https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/5272590-white-house-amazon-tariff-costs/
The bully did not like it. Evidently, when you do anything that goes against the regime’s policies, you are considered hostile. After this threat, Amazon backed off.
https://apnews.com/article/amazon-tariff-prices-trump-white-house-8598569632263872a6c04f7ef330c0fd
Not much other news from yesterday. We are still in a coup. The regime continues to ignore court orders as Abrego Garcia is not back in Maryland. Hegseth is still the Secretary of Defense.
Today I want to talk about the core values most of usshare. At our second in-person ED4D meeting on February 3rd, we listed our values.
· compassion
· integrity
· accepting of differences
· fairness
· decency
· empathy
· love
· transparency
· respect
· democracy
· service
· freedom of the press
· safety
· checks and balances
When we look at this list, these are things that I think most Americans also have as core values. When you get down to it, we all want to feel safe. When you get down to it, we want things to be fair. When you get down to it, we all want respect. When you get down to it, we all want compassion.
And when you figure out what you want as a person, it is not that hard to translate that into everybody deserving that. I think most of us have some inherent empathy. And yes, it is disappointing that some have not joined our movement until they themselves have been hurt. I still feel that if we play out a scenario for them, even if they themselves are not in that scenario, their core values will come through.
Not many people would say that I need to feel safe, but it is ok for others to not feel safe when you describe a situation where someone is not safe (e.g., a child is starving now that we have cut of US AID funding).
One of the reasons I love making the calls for Down Home NC is that once I start talking to someone, regardless of their political party, we can agree that if you’re sick, you should be able to go to the doctor, a core value that we share. It would be hard for someone to disagree with that statement even if they start off thinking that people try to commit Medicaid fraud.
So then how do people do things that go against their core values? In psychology, there is a phenomenon called cognitive dissonance. That is when we have two attitudes or thoughts that are inconsistent. The only way we can do this is by compartmentalizing our attitudes in our brains. To resolve cognitive dissonance, you can make that dissonance salient by bringing those two attitudes up and putting them side by side rather than in separate compartments.
This can work when you bring up core values, which then might result in a person realizing their core value does not match something they are currently doing or believing. We do not like to feel this inconsistency. It makes us uncomfortable. We have a desire to resolve this dissonance when that dissonance is highlighted.
Because we are violating due process, I feel this is an excellent way to find common ground with people. Even if they have been convinced somehow that we should send immigrants back to their counties (most of us believe our country is better by allowing immigrants to be here even if they did not come to this country with proper documentation), talking about how people are being removed without due process will rally most people. Then, their view of deportation is good and ignoring due process is bad will result in our deportation policies are currently bad. It just takes a little time to bring those two views together. I feel talking about due process can get people to join our movement as they see that violating due process affects all of our sense of safety. It might be the thing that brings them to the march on Thursday or a bridge protest or a protest at the airport or the many protests our warriors are having on corners.
I want to share about a conversation I had yesterday that was too short for me to find common ground but still illustrates my attempt to talk to someone who views things differently than I do. As you know, I ask pretty much everybody about going to the march on Thursday as I have become a movement growing zealot! There were some Duke employee standing at the bus stop as I was walking to the bridge yesterday morning. I went up to a man and asked him if he had plans to go to the March.
Please picture him with his arms crossed, his brow furrowed, and an aggressive/angry tone throughout the 60 second conversation. Please picture me, staying calm, and talking slowly and softly (remember slow and low?)
Him: “And what march is this about?”
Me: “It’s a March to voice our concerns about what’s going on in this country.”
Him: “And what’s going on in this country?”
Me: “I’m worried about our rights getting violated”
Him: “And what rights are those?”
Me: “I am concerned that people are not being given due process.”
Him: “What do you mean by due process?”
Me: “When you get charged with a crime, in our constitution, it says that we have the right to defend ourselves in a court of law. We deported three US citizens this weekend without due process.”
Him: “How did I know that we deported three US citizens.”
And as he was getting on the bus, all I said was, “We all deserve the right to defend ourselves when we’re charged with a crime.”
Now did I change his mind about anything related to due process violations? I don’t think so. Is he coming to the March on Thursday? Absolutely not. Did he have an interaction with somebody that he considers a leftist but did not think that that person was a jerk. Maybe? Did he talk to someone who was respectful and did not escalate into a fight? Yes. And if I accomplished that, I think that that was a fruitful outcome. So even when we encounter people who are different than we are, I model the values I am trying to find common ground about. How can I talk about respect, when I myself am not respectful? I do the same thing when I am coaching clinicians. I model the communication techniques I ask them to use with their patients.
So, even though I did find common ground with him, I wonder what might have happened if we had had more time. I would have explored with him how he thinks things were going in the country to try to find a value we have in common. When we find common ground with people on core values, we can anchor them back if they hold two inconsistent views and potentially change some of their inconsistent attitudes.
As we are trying to break the ingroup outgroup bias in this country, the way for us to become one group is to go back to the core values that most Americans believe in.
I leave you with a funny clip my friend Liz sent me after I told her this story.
Have a great day! Thanks to the 23 who have signed up for the bridge protest over I-40 today. We are now up to 506 signed up for May Day Strong, which is outstanding!!! Please keep spreading the word. We need all boots on the ground!!
Warmly,
Kathryn